Carrie Bradshaw understands shoes. I do not.
It's a contemporary stereotype that women must have a relationship with their foot-covering - well, my relationship is one of HATE. My housemate reports an increased heart-rate at the thought of shoes and owns at least one pair that she knows she can never wear. I would much prefer to walk the world barefoot, but am prevented by temperature and glass shards.
"Why is it that girls seem to like walking barefoot more than guys?" my lover asked me.
My answer: women's shoes are not made for comfort. I associate pleasure with the thought of being free from blisters, high heels and thoughts of style.
What are female shoes for then?
Some theories:
- Consumption. Either you buy the shoe under the hypnotic suggestion of retail therapy and then put it in your cupboard until you get bored of the sight and donate it to a friend or charity; or you wear one of the strange strap arrangements until the motion of walking consumes your foot and forces you to buy another one which has straps in places that don't already have blisters.
- Form. Even males are required to wear different shoes for different occasions - smart, casual and sport. In the female sphere the ceremonial function of clothing is exponentially increased by the fact that we're expected to be a "spectacle" - something to look at. That means new outfits with new matching showy shoes, summer shoes, beach shoes, winter shoes, sports shoes, various styles of dance shoes, and so forth.
- The Fragile Female. A feminist friend of mine maintains that long hair, long nails and uncomfortable heels are all part of making women look "fragile" not "functional". She has a point - my banker had a perfect manicure and was unable to properly operate her keyboard, which seems counter-intuitive.
- Powerplay. Female shoes often seem like a form of torture - pleasure and pain in combination. Fetish shoes are the epitomy of shoe desire, no one doubts they are designed as erotic torture for viewing pleasure. But the show is a complicated one: fragility is submissive, but height is dominant.
Whatever else, these shoes ain't made for walking.
